Anyways, without further ado, here are the live tweets.
And heeeere we go!
K: Shitty weather for a shitty movie. Apropos, no?
I HAS A CAPE! YOU HAS NONE! I BE FASTER THAN YOU!
Run pretty boy, run!
Run fail. Now you writhe in pain. Good set up. Please, let the rest of the movie compare.
Bella Swan - most emotionless voice over ever. I care not for your...angst? Happiness?
He's SO SPARKLY! And you can only bask in his sparkles.
Annnd my movie just paused. My PS2 refuses to play this movie.
Alright, technical difficulties over. Back to high school.
I spoke too soon. It just restarted again. It's not the disc (no scratches/smudges). WTF?
Alright, take three. Here we go.
Party? Fun? That's what you said last time. Way to be a downer, Bella.
Oooh, the plot thickens. Disappearances? Volturi? Could get dicey!
Oh Charlie, you're so oblivious. Poor man.
No, Bella, it's a present. Act happy! I know it's a stretch, but please.
It's blue and dark. Creepiness factor: Through the roof.
Epic chase scene!
Culminating in some epic fail.
Oh man, Taylor Lautner + Awesome music = BAMF.
Oh teenage drama. Etc., etc.
Oh the pack. And not a shirt to be seen.
Gee Jacob, you're just scoring SO many points with Bella. Badmouthing her bf and his family. Her life choices. GOOD JOB. #sarcasm
Oh hello pretty boy, you're being a huge creeper right now.
I take it back, Edward's a much bigger creeper.
Please boys, stop comparing and focus on your mission. Protect Bella. She's Switzerland, ja?
Doesn't he own a shirt? LOL. You're just jealous because when you shed your shirt, you're a DIAMOND CUPCAKE!
OMG Vampire army! EVERYONE PANIC!
Bella and Edward are still the most awkward kissers. Not much has changed since the last movie.
Jacob, you have emo hair. *twitch twitch*
Bella just punched Jacob. It was great.
Yay Charlie. Stepping in like a boss. Breaking up fights. Like a boss.
...And she broke her hand...punching my face.
See Bella? Your life isn't as bad as Rosalie's was.
Graduation! Everyone's so full of possibilities!
And now we PARTY!
Or not. An army of newborns are coming. Time to plan and strategize.
Ooh, deep dark secrets revealed. Backstories are a win for this movie.
Eau de wolf coming up! Oh, this is so very funny.
You know, with all this planning and strategery, I'm wondering what they've told Bella's dad.
Oh wait, nevermind. They just gave the cover story.
Oh this just turned into the birds and the bees talk. Awkward.
And another awkward talk. This time with her bf. Bella, I believe you need some practice in non-awkward topics.
OH GOD HORNY TEENAGERS. And the boy is being the sensible one in this instance.
D'aww marriage proposal.
The subtle manipulation of her puppet by the redhead is just SO subtle. Way to go scriptwriters.
Epic music for an epic buildup to a fight scene!
THEY'RE IN THE WATER. O CRAP.
Um, way to go Edward. Worst possible spot for a camp.
Oh god the one-liners out of Jacob's mouth. "I am hotter than you." Bahahaha.
And Edward stares impotently across the tent.
Aw, and now you two are having a heart-to-heart talk.
And more drama. Great.
KISS ME JACOB! Because that'll solve all your problems, miss engaged to edward.
Yes battle scene. Finally a distraction from this lovey-dovey drama.
Breaking vampires kind of sounds like loose change.
Think fast bella! How can you be of help in a vampire fight? The answer? CUT YOURSELF! Blood distraction!
Ah, Jacob, one last try? I suppose you must.
Angsty introspection. Yay.
NO EDWARD, NOT EVERYTHING'S ABOUT YOU. It's all about Bella, you know that.
Oh gee, Charlie's going to flip his lid.
FIN. It wasn't a horrible movie, not great. Kristen Stewart has one face, but Taylor Lautner's one-liners made it pretty great.