Thursday, April 1, 2010

We're frolicking through the forest! And we shimmer!

Last Sunday, my roommate and I decided to rent New Moon. She wanted to since it was her favorite book out of the series. I wanted to in order to mock it (and my other roommate who equally hates on Twilight said it was hilarious). So, we sat down on the couch with some popcorn, timbits, and nibs and watched the fantastic fail that is The Twilight Saga: New Moon.

Whilst suffering from hysterical laughter, I figured it would be awesome to live-post on facebook my reactions to the movie. Here follows these posts verbatim, put into chronological order. Bolded lines were my main post and normal lines were comments on the preceding post.

Watching New Moon and live posting my reactions! 1/2 hour in: WHAT IS THIS MADNESS? Bella is a self destructive codependent mess who is also possiby schizo..

And her papercuts bleed the most.

And she has no sense of self-preservation. "I tripped over a twig! A TWIG I SAY! Now I will curl up in the fetal position and faint. And be rescued by a shirtless wolf."

Also, major kudos to her dad for putting up with her and her screaming during bad dreams

Bella and Edward kiss the most awkwardly. Taylor Lautner is buff. 'nuff said about that.

lol @awkward 2 friends competing for Bella's affections...their hands waiting for her to grasp them as they watch a terrible action movie

"what a marshmallow" as the white friend leaves, afraid of gore

and way to break up a tender moment, white kid.

who goes shirtless in the pouring rain? I mean, really, other than to gratuitously show off taylor lautner's abs?

yes bella, both of the men you liked in your life break up with you exactly the same way. Sucks to be you.

Jacob BURSTS OUT OF HIS CLOTHES!!! I AM HERCULES!!! Now what happens after he transforms back? And is...unclothed?

and she jumps off a cliff...without a spotter. Just to hear/see your vision of your lover. You are nuts.

And get buffeted by waves. You fail so much.

OMFG YOU FAIL. I won't spoil the movie, but there is so much fail.

No seatbelt? That's living life on the edge, right there.

SO AWKWARD. Way to kill the mood.

best quote: "I have never met anyone so prone to life threatening idiocy.

awww...poor Jacob. Bella, you fail to see any win in your life.

RUN BELLA! Save us from seeing Edward in his sparkly glory!

ewww....ewww. Please Edward put your shirt back on. Bring back Jacob. So much better.

migod these people can't act. It's like they're in constant physical pain.

even the other vamps are like "put on a shirt" to Edward.

we're frolicking through the forest! And we shimmer!

migod, Edward is such a creeper...creeping in Bella's room in the night. And Bella, way to forget that your dad would worry while you go gallivanting off to Italy.

And way to forget about Jacob, you jerk.

And you still kiss the most awkwardly.

"it would be nice to not want to kill you all the time"

as they vote whether or not to turn bella


And way to blow him off! He got buff and cut his hair for you! FAILLLLL

"you can't hurt each other without hurting me!" Yeah, we would actually be okay with that.

"marry me bella" and end. WHAT? Is that really the end? O_O

So yeah, that was a LOT of fun! Perhaps I'll make a twitter feed just to entertain people while I watch bad movies.

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